EXCLUSIVE! POST NATAL AUDIO TAPES OF KIM KARDASHIAN AFTER DELIVERING BABY!

Talk about timing!  Earlier this evening I posted about the first photos of Kim Kardashian walking and with her baby on my Facebook page.

“You know what I love about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? Whenever you see pics of them with their 6 kids, they each have hold of the hand of at least two of them. That’s 4 kids. They usually have a couple nannies and body guards walking very close by. But those two parents have a firm grip on their 4 youngest in almost every photo. So Kim Kardashian gets photo’d today…..her nanny has her baby on one side of her and a bodyguard is walking on the other side of her. Kim has one hand on a cell phone or Blackberry or whatever the hell, and is gripping some big ass designer purse in the other. Just sayin’.”

Now she has the bodyguard carrying her purse.

Bodyguard guarding Kim going out the door, not the baby.

Kim still gripping her designer bag.

Well, as luck would have it, I was just given a copy of the secret taping in the post delivery room soon after Kim gave birth to her baby girl.  Here is a transcript:

Dr. Delivery:  So, how are you feeling, Kim?

KK:  How do you think?  Look at me.  I’m a mess.

DD:  That’s to be expected.  Actually, you look fine.  Would you like to see your little baby daughter now?

KK:  You’ve got to be kidding!  Like this?  Khloe, hand me my mirror……Oh….My…..God.

Kris  Jenner:  Oh honey, you don’t look bad.  Really.

KK:  Easy for you to say, you didn’t go through what I just did.

KJ:  Uh, actually I did.  Seven times.

KK:  Look at my stomach!  Doctor, can you prescribe something for me to make my stomach go flat?

DD:  It will reduce faster if you breastfeed.

KK:  Breastfeed???  No way.  Chloe hand me my lipstick.

Kourtney Kardashian:  Kim, you don’t want to put on lipstick – you’ll get it all over the baby.

KK:  Not if I don’t kiss her, I won’t.  I’ll just pat her on the head and hug her, right honey?

Kanye West:   (standing in a corner of the room, head down) Don’t look at me.  Don’t even talk to me.

KK:  Doctor, I am so stressed.  I absolutely have to get my weight back to at least ten pounds LESS than I was before I got pregnant,.  I can’t be photographed until I look amazing.

Bruce Jenner:  I’ll design a work-out program for you.

Kris:  Leave her alone, Bruce.  I don’t even know why you’re here.

DD:  I’ve sent the nurse for the baby, Kim.  It will do your spirits good to see her.

KK:  Doctor, I can not be seen in public until I look absolutely fabulous.  I want you to prescribe something that will accelerate my weight loss.

DD:   As I’ve recommended, breast feed for ….well, just try it for 3 months.

Kourtney K:  It worked for me.

KK:  Well, I’m not you, am I?  You don’t have the obligations and work load I have do you.  Isn’t that right, honey (looks at Kanye).

Kanye:  Why are you talking to me?

KK:  Mom, have you found a Nanny yet?  I’m not, repeat, I am not, going to be changing poop out of a diaper when I get home.  I’m not, I’m not, I’m not.  (Checks herself again in mirror).

Nurse:  Here’s your little daughter.

KK:  Wait.  Kourtney, take this mirror.  Khloe, take this lipstick.  Mom, hand me a tissue.

Nurse hands Kim the baby.  Kim puts tissue on top of baby’s head, bends her head down and purses her lips about 3 inches from baby’s head.

KK:  There.  Doctor, Don’t you think I’m doing a good job bonding?  (smiles)

DD:  Yes, ma’m.  Absolutely.  You’re the best mother I’ve seen all day.  Well, I better go and start my rounds.  Goodbye ladies, Bruce, Mr. West.

KW: (still in the corner, still looking down) Don’t talk to me.

KK:  Here mom, you take her.  I’m exhausted.  Khloe, hand me my Blackberry. 

Stefani Koorey’s “Harassment Prevention Order’

On August 4, 2012, while visiting the Fall River Historical Society in Fall River, MA., with an author/lawyer friend, our conversation with the curators was interrupted by an officer of the Fall River Police Department.  As it turned out, the officer was there to serve me with a “Harassment Prevention Order” filed by Stefani Koorey.   The Order has Ms. Koorey checking boxes indicating she swears that she is in “fear of bodily harm or injury” from me.  The Order indicates I must stay 50 yards away from her.

I  wondered how Stefani even knew I was at the Fall River Historical Society in the first place.  I was told she was “just here” and as it turned out,  had observed me present and called the PD herself so they could come and serve the Order.  Stefani Koorey was not then and  never has been, an item on my Agenda of places to go and people to visit while in Fall River.

It should be noted that until early 2010, one had to pay nearly $300 to file such a complaint, but fees no longer apply and subsequently the courts are flooded with Harassment Prevention Orders, many often frivolous and used as a harassing tool itself by the plaintiff.

The Order references “malice” which, in the legal sense and as it applies to the Order:

“Actual Malice

“In a legal sense, “actual malice” has nothing to do with ill will or disliking someone and wishing him harm. Rather, courts have defined “actual malice” in the defamation context as publishing a statement while either

• knowing that it is false; or

• acting with reckless disregard for the statement’s truth or falsity.

It should be noted that the actual malice standard focuses on the defendant’s actual state of mind at the time of publication. Unlike the negligence standard discussed later in this section, the actual malice standard is not measured by what a reasonable person would have published or investigated prior to publication. Instead, the plaintiff must produce clear and convincing evidence that the defendant actually knew the information was false or entertained serious doubts as to the truth of his publication. In making this determination, a court will look for evidence of the defendant’s state of mind at the time of publication and will likely examine the steps he took in researching, editing, and fact checking his work. It is generally not sufficient, however, for a plaintiff to merely show that the defendant didn’t like her, failed to contact her for comment, knew she had denied the information, relied on a single biased source, or failed to correct the statement after publication.”

(For example, here’s a recent lampooning of “public officials” which is floating around Facebook:)

“Actual Malice” – continued:

“Not surprisingly, this is a very difficult standard for a plaintiff to establish. Indeed, in only a handful of cases over the last decades have plaintiffs been successful in establishing the requisite actual malice to prove defamation.”   (my italics)

Deservedly, Stefani Koorey has asserted herself as a noted expert on Lizzie Borden and a Fall River historian.  She promotes herself with blogs and publications to substantiate this rightful claim.  She has run (unsuccessfully) for Mayor of Fall River – ergo, she is a “limited purpose public figure” as defined  HERE.

So, if I say, IN MY OPINION, Stefani Koorey, a noted expert on Lizzie Borden, resembles Stan Laurel, there is no malice in that – I’m just rendering an opinion.

People in the public eye will sometimes try to re-invent themselves. This is particularly true of entertainers and other celebrities and, less often, politicians. But individuals with even a modicum of notoriety will sometimes do the same.

It is my opinion that Stefani Koorey is attempting to change her image from a “Lizzie Borden nutcase” to the more respectable “Fall River historian and author”.  She most definitely knows a great deal about Fall River history and she has written the photo captions for her work in Fall River Revisited in the Images of America series. I say “captions” because it is not a novel or non fictional narrative.

Well, back to the Prevention Order.   I was already back in California when the court date was set, and as I had predicted, Ms. Koorey exercised her option to extend the order for one year.   She is probably aware I visit Fall River often and will, again, be visiting the end of October.

It is my opinion Stefani Koorey continues to be rejected from job applications (no matter how many “How to” books one reads, interviews can be very difficult) and cares (as in “I care”) and worries about her image.  It is my opinion she gets very stressed when I post or otherwise make known the actual facts of her endeavors, i.e., only 252 votes for mayor,  raised less than $200 on the $13,000 targeted  for her online magazine, etc, etc.    Harassment?  I think not.   Apparently, to Stefani Koorey, it is.  Oh well, everyone’s entitled to their “OPINION.”    😉

Sidebar note:  As to Stefani’s “fear of bodily harm or injury from me – I’m almost 68 years old, have COPD, and reside in California.  I think Stefani Koorey could drop kick me before I raised my cane elbow length.  LOL

When Agitators Agitate

Sometimes it’s better to have the agitator inside the tent pissing out rather than outside the tent, pissing in.

Politicians, for decades, have recognized this parable and found jobs for the agitators.  Gives them something to do.  Sometimes the newly employed agitator actually thrives in their new employment environment and become friend rather than foe.

Political activists (can substitute for “agitators”) find their pursuits fulfilling.  Fulfilling.  As in filling a void.  This is especially true when their name appears in print about an issue or on a news video.  It gives them validation.  Not exactly, “I love you, mommy”, but its all they got.

So for all those politicians who are getting beaned on the noggin by the agitators – start setting up your tent and call your buddies to do you a solid and hire the agitator.

It’s a good thing.  🙂

“I did not ransom my life in order to study Lizzie’s.”

Angela Stryck wrote a wonderful response to this blog post, but since the “Comment” section is so far down and many may have missed it, I’m posting it in its entirety here – it’s that good.  Thank you Angela.   (You can read my reply comment by clicking “Comment” on the original post.)

**********

“Wow, I had the same epiphany during and shortly after the 1992 conference. I wasn’t becoming a grandmother, however. I was in the process of making a major career change, and knew that preparing for it (returning to school) would consume all hours not devoted to my then-current occupation as a tax auditor.

As fascinating as this locked-room (ok, house) mystery is, I realized, in 1992, that I had read everything readily available. I had made pilgrimages to Mrs. Brigham in March of 1990, September of 1990 and then again in Aug. 1992. There was nothing more to be done; it was not likely that anything new would be uncovered. Everyone (except Mrs. Brigham) was gone, and all the secrets with them. It will never be solved.

Don’t get me wrong–I still love to read about the case, especially now that we have the web. I am glad I decided at that time to have a life outside of Lizzie. As for the career change? Didn’t turn out exactly as I expected, but in healing from what did happen I have found a spiritual perspective that I likely would not have sought and found if things had gone “my way”. You would not believe the road I have travelled.

Ahh, this does bring back memories. I have not been to Fall River since the conference. As for the bed and breakfast, I would love to go someday–I have had that floor plan in my head since Robert Sullivan’s book in 1975.

Thanks, Faye, for all you have done for Borden lovers. Isn’t it great to gracefully release the Lizzie addiction in order to make room for things that really matter? Put another way, I am glad I did not ransom my life to in order to study Lizzie’s.

(It is almost certain you don’t remember me from the conference, unless you recall a young woman who brought her yorkie in a sherpa dog bag to all three days of the conference. (I think it was three days, anyway.)”

Reply

Angela Stryck 27 July 2010 at 5am edit

Reflections upon being a Grandmother versus Lizzie Borden collectibles

I used to covet my collection on the Lizzie Borden case and Fall River history.  For years I carefully cataloged everything on 3×5 cards, photographed letters, sorted items carefully in rubberized containers, and as the collection grew to be massive, placed containers in secured storage sheds, etc.   For years, the Borden case loomed large in my life, transcending from a casual hobby to a borderline obsession and back again to an occasional compulsion.   But not any more.

Ever since my son and daughter-in-law surprised me with the news I was going to be a grandmother I have channeled those energies in a different direction.  Lizzie has taken a far back seat – so far back she’s practically out of the car – to the grandSON I’m expecting come December.  Yes, it’s going to be a boy.

I live in a 3 bedroom house and had one bedroom dedicated to Lizzie, i.e., wall to wall bookshelves, photos, paintings, framed thank you’s from universities and clubs to which I lectured or made presentations, newspaper articles, original oil paintings of Fall River and Lizzie, etc.  The room’s furniture was even Victorian/Edwardian era – though mostly replicas.  But now that room is all set up for a baby boy.  New carpet, curtains, a crib, a granny rocker, stuffed toys, dresser filled with baby clothes, blankets and the closet loaded with baby pampers.  I’ve started a baby scrapbook that begins with his genealogy going back 5 generations and a work-in-progress narrative of the lives of his maternal grandparents and great grandparents.  (Years of tracking the Borden genealogy was not an insignificant influence).  I’ve sifted through hundreds of old photos putting together a chronological photo album of my grandchild’s “maternal grandparent’s” family – from my own birth, my life in photos, to marriage to his grandfather and beyond.  I’ve even done a little “time capsule”.  Oh yea.  I am ready.  Boy, am I ready.  🙂

I’ve waited so long for this grandchild.  My son is 40 and it’s his first child.  My son is an only child and his father is the last of his bloodline, so this makes my grandson a very special child, indeed.

I suspect the past 15 of the past 40 years I’ve been into Lizzie and Fall River has served as a surrogate subject that I could embrace and nurture.   By diverting attention and energy to that compelling case, it filled gaps of leisure time that others might spend on family and other pursuits.  But in substituting an historical icon in classic unsolved crimes is hardly a just comparison to being a first time grandmother.  If one were to look closely at those that are obsessed with the Borden case, they are usually middle aged or near senior citizens, empty-nesters, or childless to begin with.   I’ve particularly noted that for alpha males and females, they cling to this case absorbing and seeking every tiny morsel of information as if nutrients to an otherwise malnourished psyche.  It fills a void.

Although I never quite reached the stage where the Borden case and “all things Lizzie” were at the center of my personal universe, I did come close in the late 1980’s to late 1990’s.   But I also believe that with each passing decade we are on this planet we evolve.   As we evolve our personal beliefs and prejudices change, our political viewpoints change and our priorities shift.  After six and a half decades on this planet, I firmly believe this to be true.

So as I enter this new phase of my life – being a grandparent – my perspective of family being the most important thing in our lives looms ever so much larger than the pursuit of knowledge or acquisition of things pertaining to that New England spinster tried and acquitted of the hatchet murders of her father and stepmother.  When I look through file cards and containers now, the content they catalog or the items themselves seem so inconsequential to my life as I’ve lived it in this incarnation.

I had a friend over the other day to show off the “grand-baby’s room”.  She said:  “If you had a fire, would you rather the shed burn with all your Lizzie stuff or this room.”   I answered:  “The shed, of course.”

What we covet is changeable and transcending.  What we think enriches us is neither sustainable nor enduring.

Except for Family.

Beach Bikini Broads

Which one of the following is NOT a celebrity?  Answer correctly and win a prize!

Amusing a Neighbor

I put a For Sale sign out in front of my house last week:  “$885,000.”  Of course, that is way over market value.

Then I took it off yesterday.

Why?

I like to play head games with my neighbor – and she falls for it every time.

I have an eccentric, whacky sense of humor which my friends understand.

Those that don’t have easy buttons to push.  LOL.

Eventually, she’ll figure it out.  😉